I'll tell you how I do it - not that I claim it is anything to emulate! Our house is a wreck. DH and I have relented to the inmates running the asylum. Really we both feel it is nearly impossible to keep it in order while they are all so young and at the stage of constantly dragging things out. We are trying to teach them, but you know - I have to supervise them for an hour to get a room cleaned up, and then I turn around 15 min later and they've started wrecking it again!! On days when we stay home (as opposed to days we go to town for therapy), the kids often stay in their pjs all day. The laundry is never done. DS1 is still in diapers. I try to change both diapers at the same time each day. I gave up on cloth once I realized how much work Juju was going to be. The kids eat pb or cheese sandwiches every day for lunch. DS1 was 19 months when Juju was born, so not able to eat all foods on his own yet, but I didn't have time to feed him, so gave him pb every day (later learned you aren't supposed to until they are 2!). I give myself time each day to do things I want to do. I completely loose my will to live (for real) if I don't spend time pursuing my own interests. We just now got respite care through a Medicaid waiver program in our state, and we are really enjoying that. We don't really get a "rest", but it does help lighten the load a little. I know DH is really tired. I know it is hard, but he has to help when he gets home. It's just the way it is. When I hear of dads who leave cause they can't handle a special needs child, I just can't imagine. DH is really sympathetic to what I go through every day. I have definately had moments when I wanted to just run away. My love for dh - probably more for the kids even - is what keeps me going. I could never leave him alone with this responsibility. I think he feels the same. We're in this together. We both cut each other alot of slack. Birth control is an issue for us right now too. We don't want to use any known form of birth control, and we don't want to alter ourselves surgically. We just don't have sex, and when we do use withdrawal. I tried to get DH to do a vas, but he really resisted. I don't know what the answer is. I'm not satisfied with FAM/NFP, but I'm scared of everything else. I've thought of adding the sponge to the withdrawal during fertile periods. Maybe that would make us safer. Another thing is as much as my left brain knows that I don't want to be pregnant. While I'm having sex, my right brain is all "oh, whatever, another baby, bring it on." Ack!
Bluefish....we used to be so different....now we're nearly identical. Its a difficult journey isnt it. My dh works long hours 10 hour days and thinks I should have the house clean, the clothes all washed, the kids nicely groomed, the lawn mowed....he doesnt support me, he puts me down when things arent up to par. Usually he doesnt say anything, but I can see it in his face. Then when he's in a good mood, he helps. Like today, he gave Connor a bath and dressed him afterward...thats a big deal. Dh goes through moments where I cant believe its the same man, then he goes back to his same habits.
I'm nursing both the boys, but I'm beginning to think I need to stop even though I'm a huge advocate of child led weaning. I'm depressed to the point of not wanting to live, so I know I have to think of myself right now. I dont even look at it as being selfish, I've been nothing but sacrificial for the last 6 years...if I'm to stick around and raise my children with a whole mind, I need to start caring for myself.
Pitifully, my right brain says the same gosh darn thing....it infuriates me at a later time.
Today I installed a temporary fence in the front yard to keep the kids from running into the street, then I fell over it and sprained my thumb in the dark...I couldnt see it and forgot where I put it. lol, yeah!
Anyway, I'm ashamed at how much I change from month to month. In January we were full on trying to conceive another baby....oh my gosh, ACK is right!!!!
Whats helping me get through the last couple of days is music, I accidentally found a new artist....just LOVE him! Here is a sample.....the music goes right through me :)