There's a lot going on in your post! I'll try to address some of those.
Insurance companies control how much time a doctor and most CNMs spend with their patients/clients. Unfortunately, this is the case in the US. There is no reason, however, that you have to accept shoddy care from anyone. You are well within your rights to say, "Hey, wait a minute. I have some questions" and you have the right to have your questions answered or to be able to reschedule a consultative appointment to go over those questions. If you feel that this particular MD does not have the time for you, you can shop around for another, more attentive doctor.
What a physician's personal life is like and how s/he chooses to juggle work and personal life is different, however. Some folks may want to choose a doctor who's personal life fits with their own style. However, it's difficult to know a doctor's personal life and it's difficult to know why someone chooses what s/he chooses. It's rare to find someone who is able to take off work while pregnant unless the pregnancy is complicated and work is out of the question. Whether the doctor breastfeeds or not may be important to someone, but one doesn't really know the entire situation unless you walk in the doctor's shoes. This may be a deciding factor on choosing a doctor for some women and for others it's not. You've got to remember that most physicians have enormous financial obligations with school loans and also obligations to the practice if they are in a group practice. (Another plus for health care reform. ??) These kinds of obligations put pressure on MDs to have to return to work quicker than maybe they'd like or maybe you'd like. Our idea of mothering may not be the same as the physician's. Does this mean they are not a good physician? Maybe it does for some people and maybe others don't think it's relevant to their personal situation.
If you feel you were not treated as you wished or if you feel that you have more questions for this doctor, if you feel anxious over your situation, then you have every right to get another appointment and go back in and go over these things with the doctor with your clothes on, sitting across a desk and not in an exam room.
Some women choose to have their annual exams done by a specialist (gynecologist, for ex) and some choose a family practice doctor, internist or a certified nurse midwife. Some women choose both a gynecologist and an internist. The internist (internal medicine, not to be confused with a medical student) or family practice MD can do PAP smears, breast exams, etc. However, they will refer out to a specialist if they find the situation needs that. Some women find that an internist or family practice doctor spends more time with them, explains things better, and is warmer than a gynecologist. However, there are some find gynecologists out there who are "warm and fuzzy", too. Finding a doctor who clicks with you isn't always easy, especially if you are limited by an insurance company. Some people feel that paying out of pocket is worth it; others just can't afford that.