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TTC in 2009...

Last post 01-08-2010 2:35 AM by worstfriend. 141 replies.
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  • 06-28-2009 3:01 PM In reply to

    • RobsGirl
    • Top 10 Contributor
    • Joined on 02-04-2009
    • Mid-Hudson Valley, NY
    • Posts 364

    Re: TTC in 2009...

    I'm so glad you're having such a great outlook on this process, and that your husband is being so sweet about it all!!

    RobsGirl, 31
    Wife of one fabulous guy (34)
    Mommy of 3 awesome boys, ages 11, 8, and 4, and a precious 2 year old daughter.


  • 06-30-2009 6:02 AM In reply to

    • RobsGirl
    • Top 10 Contributor
    • Joined on 02-04-2009
    • Mid-Hudson Valley, NY
    • Posts 364

    Re: TTC in 2009...

    Dawn,

    That's so earthshattering, I can't believe no one's ever thought of that!!!Stick out tongue 

    It is interesting that the study showed daily sex produces better sperm, though.  Common wisdom says every other day is best to let them build up.  But, hey, this sounds good. 

    There you have it, ladies.  Big Smile

    RobsGirl, 31
    Wife of one fabulous guy (34)
    Mommy of 3 awesome boys, ages 11, 8, and 4, and a precious 2 year old daughter.


  • 07-01-2009 11:35 AM In reply to

    Re: TTC in 2009...

    LOL...I bet husbands throughout he land will be overjoyed to hear that!

  • 07-02-2009 1:45 PM In reply to

    Re: TTC in 2009...

    LOL! That's too funny Big Smile

    We're still undecided as to if we want to ttc this year or not. I'm currently on YAZ (bc pills)...I started out last December on the patch (Ortho Evra) because of continuous, prolonged bleeding after my two miscarriages in the fall. I switched to YAZ because my patches kept falling off.

    I'm not particularly fond of being on sythetic hormones and am planning on stopping in September when my last pack of pills runs out. I'm looking forward to it!

    We're also hesitant because we added a new family member via adoption and we want to give ourselves some time together before facing ttc and all the issues that seem to go with it for us (recurrent pg loss). Finalization is in December and we may wait until after then.

    I believe I'll know when the time is right...for now, I've got a little bit of the baby itch but it's tolerable Smile

  • 07-03-2009 1:23 AM In reply to

    Re: TTC in 2009...

    WRT to the BBC thing, my DH said "what MORE!?" lol.  He is 9.5 years my senior and surprisingly sprightly for that, but i think ttc every day is a bit beyond him.  He said "i'd be ok for the first 9 or 10 days...."  lol.

    Well, i am now 9 or 10DPO and have no signs of anything so far (seem to remember that i had no signs of pregnancy with DD until i was about 6 weeks PG).  AF could come any time between today (CD27) and Tuesday (15DPO).  My luteal phase is usually short though, about 13 days, so we'll see.  I suppose AF is "officially due" on Sunday.  I'm going to do an HPT next Wednesday morning if AF hasn't arrived.  I am managing to stay very unobsessed this month :D though i did go and buy tests the other day.... ;)

    The other night DH fell asleep and then, in his sleep, put oe hand on my lower belly, right above my pubic bone, and just rested it there.  He's never done that before, ever, so i wonder if it's something to note.  I feel calm though.  If i am PG now i'll be due mid march, but i'd love a spring-summer baby so i feel like there are lots of months of happy TTC ahead if we don't fall this time. :D

    Bec

    Me 32, DH 41, DD 2006, DD 2010, DS 2013
  • 07-12-2009 7:40 AM In reply to

    Re: TTC in 2009...

    Hello ladies, hope all is well with all of you! 

    We had our visit to the uroligist last tuesday.  He was very knowledgeable and nice.  He said this problem has probably been there all the hubby's life but not necess. genetic.  He wants to test the TSH and Prolactin levels next and also genetic factors.  If prolactin is too high there is a med. that can bring it down and possibly allow more sperm to form.  He mentioned another med. that could do the same thing (can't seem to remeber the name of it). Of course he warns that the hubby will never have a normal count (20 mill. ), he may just get back to 1 or 2 mill.  That was enough ttc our son.  After all of this, their is still IVF but, we will not go that route.

    My primary concern is now his other health problems. 

    Best of luck to all of you!

    A Woman Journying On The Path To Midwifery
  • 07-14-2009 3:30 AM In reply to

    Re: TTC in 2009...

    Hi ladies.

    Journeying - glad you like your urologist, it's great to be able to trust your careprovider.  I hope your hubby's count improves soon.

    I have good and bad news.  Last week, on Thursday, i got a positive test!  It was early evening, and i was at my dad's with DH and DD.  I was so excited. 

    I had been due AF by Tuesday and a test on Tues morning had been negative so i was wondering why my cervix was still so high high high and soft.  I had a little spotting on Wednesday afternoon, and thinking it was AF i put my menstrual cup in.  That was when i discovered my cervix was way high - usually for AF i stick the cup right over my cervix as i am short inside and it sits way low at AF time.  This time i was hunting a good while!  An hour or so later i removed it to empty and there was about 2mls of red watery blood which smelled very strongly of lochia and a single brown clot which i didn't much more than glance at.  I wondered if the fact that the Mirena had vastly reduced my periods had made me forget that AF smells like afterbirthing blood, but since i was travelling to my dad's i couldn't check with you ladies anyway.  The bleeding then totally stopped.

    Fast forward, we arrived at my dad who gave me a very knowing look when i arrived and i knew he thougt i was pregnant.  So when he'd gone to his voluntary job an DH and i were alone i sent DH out to get some groceries for us all and a pack of pegnancy tests.  I did one right away.  Positive.  Faint, but definite.  I decided i'd do the other the next morning with FMU to get a better confirmation.  But my massive aching breasts and vanishing cervix were enough for me.

    Friday morning i woke at about 5am feeling like i had to pee so bad my stomach was aching.  I went and peed, did the other test and got back into bed while i waited to read the result.  By the time i did read it (5minutes later) i had realised that the stomach pains had gotten worse since i had pee'd, not better.  The test was negative.  A faint second line appeared about 20mins later (the first test was as faint but the line came up at 3mins).  I lay curled up against DH and when he woke whispered (DD was sleeping at the foot of our bed) that i thought it was an early loss.

    That day he was going off to see his brother in another city, leaving DD and I with my dad so i could visit other family.  So at half 9 or so we went off.  I had put the menstrual cup in before leaving, anticipating, because of the pain, that i would need it.  I bled moderately, and cramped severely.  I think some of that was my several years off having AF though!  I had just forgotten perhaps!

    The next day i cramped and bled very severely (by normal standards).  I emptied the cup (which was full or near-full each time, so about 1.5-2oz) every hour for about 5 hours, then every 2 hours for about the next 6.  Then it all slowed down again.  My dad, who had figured i was pregnant but then been told (i was doubled over) i was having a period, took me out for lunch and bought me a giant rare steak with green veggies and green salad.  It was hard being away from DH but my daddy really took care of me.

    Sunday i bled a normal amount for AF and Monday it all slowed down.  Today i am only sligtly spotting.

    So my bad news is that i lost a pregnancy at approximately 5weeks (3 weeks gestation) and that i did it away from home and away from DH.  In fact in retrospect i suspect the clot i lost on thursday was the pregnancy (hence the lochia-smell) and the +ve test was residual falling but not gone hcg.  Which is extra-depressing because i lost the clot in a MacDonalds bathroom in a motorway rest-stop of all places!

    But my good news is that i know DH and i are fertile together now, the loss was very early, straightforward and easy (no trips to A&E or anything) and i feel fine now, and we are eager to go on ttcing.  I have not cried though i did get a bit upset last night at a whole lot of petty problems others had been bringing to me.

    This has been a huge post.  Basically i am bruised but optimistic.

    Bec

    Me 32, DH 41, DD 2006, DD 2010, DS 2013
  • 07-14-2009 11:47 AM In reply to

    Re: TTC in 2009...

    I'm so sorry to hear this Bec...glad to hear you're feeling optimistic (((HUG))). 

  • 07-14-2009 2:01 PM In reply to

    • RobsGirl
    • Top 10 Contributor
    • Joined on 02-04-2009
    • Mid-Hudson Valley, NY
    • Posts 364

    Re: TTC in 2009...

    Journeying,

    I hope that there is something that can help your husband and that the urologist was hopeful.  I hope your husband's other health problems are also resolved.

    Bec,

    Hugs.  I am so sorry.  I'm with you.  I've experienced two very very similar losses.  Sure, it clears a lot of questions from your mind.  You know your tubes are open, you know you're ovulating, and well enough to conceive, even well enough for a baby to begin to implant.  You know your DH (btw, I didn't know you two were married, I always had the impression that he was your boyfriend) has adequate sperm and your CM was also great and allowed the sperm through.  So those are all things you can scratch off your worry list.  I'm glad you're looking at the bright side, but I'm sure you know that its fine to grieve the loss too.  Completely normal.  The tender kindness of your dad really struck me.  That is just too sweet.  :-) 

    Take care.

     

     

    RobsGirl, 31
    Wife of one fabulous guy (34)
    Mommy of 3 awesome boys, ages 11, 8, and 4, and a precious 2 year old daughter.


  • 07-14-2009 3:09 PM In reply to

    Re: TTC in 2009...

    You have caught me Robsgirl, i am not married to DH.  I use DH rather than DP because we are ambivalent about marriage but not about one another and i find "DH" is more accurate in terms of permanence and commitment.  It's funny, DD's daddy, XP, was NEVER "DH-like".

    I feel like i'm still waiting for it all to hit me.  I told XP this evening after he said if i couldn't be "arsed" coming into own with DD to let him see her tomorrow that was up to me.  I had to tell him that actually the bloodloss has left me a bit wiped out.  I do admit i feel a pregnancy is more "real" for me once the heart has begun to beat, and so i guess it seems feasible that the little person waiting to come didn't knit a vessel right this time but can try again.  Whereas once the heart beats i feel like the person is inside the vessel and when it fails their turn at life is over.  This is very confused even in my head!  I also think that having to deal with it with DD but without DH means i have built a big wall which hasn't come down yet.  Talking about it is helpful.  Thanks ladies, for listening.

    Bec

    Me 32, DH 41, DD 2006, DD 2010, DS 2013
  • 07-14-2009 5:11 PM In reply to

    • RobsGirl
    • Top 10 Contributor
    • Joined on 02-04-2009
    • Mid-Hudson Valley, NY
    • Posts 364

    Re: TTC in 2009...

    Gotcha.  I knew I noticed a shift.  :-)

    I was re-reading your post and the blood loss you experienced is pretty significant.  Wow.  You should really focus on your nutrition very carefully in these next weeks so you can build back up.  No wonder your dad took you out for a big steak and lots of greens.  :-)

     

    RobsGirl, 31
    Wife of one fabulous guy (34)
    Mommy of 3 awesome boys, ages 11, 8, and 4, and a precious 2 year old daughter.


  • 07-15-2009 9:05 AM In reply to

    Re: TTC in 2009...

     Worstfriend, I am sorry to hear about your loss.  I'm glad to hear you have people who love you and will take care of you. 

    I know I came to hate the phrase, "It'll happen when it's supposed to."  It is the truth however. Our son came along after we got some things straight between me and DH.  While we continue ttc, i'm wondering if something's not right between us or his health problems are just preventing it.

    Robsgirl, thanks for the thoughts and well wishes.

    Last night I had some very sad feelings that ttc is not going to succeed.  Perhaps it's all the "what-if's" i keep thinking about in studying Life Cycle Psy. (for entrance into a BSN program).  I have been remembering things about my son and wondering if I did everything right.  That leads me to feel that he's going to be the only one.  Perhaps it was some pre-birthday depression.  I'm 37 years today.  I thought I had dealth with the fact that we may not have anymore but, it appears I was holding on to more hope that I thought.  While I really do want DH to be healthy and live  longer, It will take a while to let go of the other feelings.

    I wish all of you ladies well in ttc and pregnancy when it happens.

    A Woman Journying On The Path To Midwifery
  • 07-15-2009 3:40 PM In reply to

    Re: TTC in 2009...

    Just wanted to add my support to you women! The journey into pregnancy is so often full of questions. (A freind once said to me "when I stop wondering is when I get pregnant" - so true)

    Bec, I am sorry for your loss. having experienced similar losses, I know this feeling of loss of potential, more than anything. I am glad you had your father to look after you. It sounds like he was so sensitive to your needs. heart warming.

    We are a little step closer this month. I had taken Soy isoflavones this last cycle and tried properly. My ovulation was still relatively late in my cycle, (day 26) but that was a whole week earlier than in the months before.

    The big deal is that at last I had TEN post ov days of higher than usual temp, which is hopefully enough to implant a pregnancy. Still i got my period this month, so the miracle is around the corner :-)

    My feeling is that somehow upping the estrogen in the first part of the cycle affected the progesterone in turn. How exactly, I don't know.

     

     

    Chamutal

    Doula, Fertility Awareness teacher
    Mother of three home birthed, homeschooled children.
  • 07-16-2009 12:53 PM In reply to

    Re: TTC in 2009...

    Robsgirl, again, you're spot on - i'm sitting snacking on raw spinach with lemon juice and burnt sesame oil sprinkled on it!  I felt very wiped out for a few days but am already perking up.  I am a "sanguine" type, a midwife friend once intimated that i was the sort to tend to high BP and tolerate moderate bloodloss well, and she was more or less accurate, though my BP is not usually high, it is extremely labile and can be sky-high one minute and normal the next (even the diastolic number can vary by 8-10 points within 15 minutes, when i was pregnant i had several sessions being measured by every machine and midwife-with-sphig on the ward to get an accurate picture) and it was pretty high when i was overweight. 

    I think the fact that with the Mirena in i hadn't had a normal monthly bleed for over 2 years (only ever very very light spotting) meant my haemocrit must have been pretty good.  It was only in retrospect i added it all up in fact, at the time i was getting through it as it came.  In fact i think the menstrual cup was what kept me from the hospital, if i'd seen it on a pad i might have been more worried.  In truth i was glad to avoid the hospital, my last miscarriage was similar, i was only a week farther on, and i had the same massive loss and cramping and i was treated appallingly, so i was reluctant to go back.

    Journeying - ((((hugs)))) i'm so sorry you're feeling sad.  I do think birthdays can be a time for regrets as well as prides, so maybe it's just this time of year on top of all the health issues happening in your family just now?  I hope so.  I have to admit i was once positive that i would never have a live baby (after my 1st 2 losses, this was my 3rd) and also, early in my relationship with DH i had a flash that he was completely sterile - obviously not!  I really hope this is just a difficult time and your worries prove to be groundless.  I certainly think that babies tend to rock up when you stop looking out or them.  I have everything crossed for you.  Perhaps the personality of your next kid is such that it's waiting for you to have your life sorted in such a way that a baby would be rather difficult before it parachutes in!  And 37 is definitely not old, my mum had my brother at 39 and me at 43!

    Chamutal - you're right, it's potential which goes with such an early loss.  I have lost 3, this recent one at about 4.5weeks, one at 6 weeks and one at 9 or 10 weeks.  The one at 9ish weeks was dreadful and a shock as i had been unaware of the pregnancy.  It was my first loss.  What made it worse was that i was not ttc.  I was on the pill and misprescribed antibiotics which both made the pill ineffective and was teratogenic.  My second loss we were using NFP and weretravelling which must have knocked my cycle off some.  It was incredibly painful to know i was ONLY getting loss.  This time DH took me into his arms and whispered that he was sorry, that he loved me, that we can try again.  Not being able to try again was so painful and made dealing with the loss so much more difficult. 

    Your improvement on the luteal phase is magnificent!  10 days seems long enough - i think i readon fertility friend that they see most implantation dips in charts which result in pregancy and live-birth on the 7th and 8th days :)

    Many thanks to you all for your kind words.  You have really soothed me trough this tough week.

    Bec

    Me 32, DH 41, DD 2006, DD 2010, DS 2013
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