I'm back. All my things are taken care of and I have a minute to share.
>I feel so upset. This is only the third period I've had since my
last baby was born 22 months ago. I had two bleeds in between the
proper mensturation as well. Now again the same problem that caused my
last miscarriage 4 years ago is back. Only 7 post ovulation days before
progesterone runs out!! I have been on Vitex and no good.<
I know how you're feeling. Its so easy to project old feelings and experiences on the future. Its like, "OH nooooo, here we go again!!" I'm in a similar position with a 13 day luteal phase but the last 5-7 are spotting. I've been terribly discouraged, not by the fact that I haven't conceived, but that my luteal phase is so poor. Thoughts: How can I hold a baby if I can't hold onto my uterine lining? I somehow conceived my last one despite this, but I feel that was extrordinary, not something to be expected. And its particularly frustrating when you've been doing something to help, and then it doesn't help at all. Are you thinking that the short luteal phase could be related to breastfeeding (how much are you nursing?) or is your intuition telling you that it is not related to that?
>I feel really upset. My husband says I should concentrate onthe
fact that my body gave us three beautiful children. Of course I know
that. But I am disheartened when I think that i will have to try again
for months and months to have another healthy pregnancy.<
Husbands can be very objective and removed, which is great when you need a balancing perspective. But if they could just understand the uncertainties swirling about in our heads, they'd buy us chocolate and give us a hug. :-) I totally understand. I really really would like to have a fourth child, and I'd love to just get on with it rather than have to go through the whole process that can be so discouraging and sad.
>Our last child took 18 months again to conceive with another
miscarriage in the middle. Just like the ones before. I was so upset
this morning when I saw my temp low again!!!<
Yes. We tried about 3 years for our little boy and lost two in there. I very much want to avoid going down a road like that again.
>Now I feel vitex is not right for me at the moment, though I might
give it one more cycle. i thought to take soy isoflavones to bring on
ovulation (I know it works a bit like clomid so won't take for more
than 5 days) and to support the luteal phase with vitamin B6.<
It could very well be that Vitex is not right for you at the moment. Vitex has a hot quality to it (per a book on traditional chinese medicine for infertility) and can make matters worse for women who have heat signs already (shortened cycle, quick heartrate, feeling hot, night sweating, thirst for cold things, red acne especially before menstruation, vaginal irritation). In that case, the soy may be a better choice as it is estrogenic (estrogen is a cooling hormone). Mary's suggestion about the flax is good too, as flax has some phytoestrogens as well.
>Any thoughts on that? We are not ttc before August at the earliest
(my husband wants to wait to November but that's too long for me,
especially if it's going to take a long time again)....<
Well, then the best thing is to take the pressure off yourself for now, since you're not in a rush, possibly take the soy and B6 pre ov, and maybe (if you think its okay for you to warm up your luteal phase) vitex and B6 post ov (or progesterone cream and B6). Also, getting the acupuncture prior to trying would be a great idea to get your body functioning more optimally, and then continue it if you can after you officially start trying.
>I know I can't take vitex and isoflavones together (counteract each
other) but can I take B6 with vitex? And should I take B6 for the whole
cycle or only post ov? And another thing is about progesterone cream.
Good idea? I think I will have to go to acupuncture as well.<
See above. I think b6 and vitex are fine to take together, and I would take it (b6) all cycle if possible. I had great success this month with the cream (I was spotting for quite a few days, but it was intermittent, and when it was present, it was very very light). And then I had the huge hormonal drop feeling at day 12 past ov. Acupuncture is a great idea. Also taking time to relax your mind and body each day can be so helpful (yoga, deep breathing, meditating, praying). I'm reading a book right now about the mind-body connection to women's health. Our hearts and minds are so connected to our reproductive system, its amazing.
>So I just wanted to share. Not good moment. feel dissappointed with
my body. Angry. I hate feeling like this. I value being positive and
not moaning. But I feel like moaning and I know I am lucky to have
I know. I just came out of a phase like this. I felt confused, tossed about, angry with my body for being so messed up. AND I hated the feelings too because I'm just like you...I'd much rather be happy, carefree, and just not worry about it...it will happen how and when it will happen. My life has been so blessed these last two years with personal growth and more happiness than I've ever had before. And now the ttc "evil" is creeping back again. BUT, I really really want to conquer this. I want to show myself that I can be happy in this circumstance as well.
Just don't forget about all the things your body has done beautifully. I'm sure it only needs a little nudge with a thumb (so to speak) to get it on track in this other way.
Back to doula work. On call again after two years on baby duty at
home. Good to be back. lady due in three weeks. Third home birth
planned, and I love those. Looking forward to it. love being on call
(another little insanty of mine).<
Awesome! Very exciting and exhilerating, I'm sure. I'm sure the births will all be a blessing to you, and mostly to the new mommies.
>Ok I am going to bed. feel better just for talking about it. Thanks.<
Thanks so much for sharing. I needed an opportunity to get my thoughts out too (I wrote a long post the other day and then decided not to post it...didn't want to sound like I was whining).
BTW, have you ever contemplated why having trouble conceiving is such a difficult issue and why so many emotions are involved? Is it because we want to be in control and we feel anxious when we realize the ability to have a baby is really not in our hands? Is it because we're vulnerable when our body isn't working properly (so why don't I feel that way when I have a bout of indigestion or a weekly headache?)? Why is there so much intense emotion surrounding TTC? You see it all over the internet. Companies are capitalizing on the phenomenon every day? Its very curious to me and I'm enjoying thinking about that. Any ideas anyone?
Now I'm off to bed.
Wife of one fabulous guy (34)
Mommy of 3 awesome boys, ages 11, 8, and 4, and a precious 2 year old daughter.