Midwifery Today Community

Hello everyone,

I am wondering what books you'd recommend to someone who is totally unsupportive of midwifery simply because they're uneducated and prejudiced.  My father is a dentist and is completely furious with my decision to become a midwife.  I knew 8 years ago that I was going to become a midwife someday (got "the calling" loud and clear).  I am a grown woman, but my father is dear to me, even though he's being extremely emotionally abusive to me over my decision to go to school to become a CPM.  He is so stressed out by this, fearing that I am investing money I will never earn back, fearing that I am throwing away my potential as a scholar, fearing I am basically ruining my entire future, and his bloodpressure is sky-high, so I am hoping that maybe some books will help him see the light since he isn't willing to listen to what I have to say about my own research.  He can appreciate hard evidence and he's gotten pretty interested in prenatal and perinatal psychology, so I am hoping I can salvage our relationship by giving him evidence that this path is a viable choice for someone in our culture.

I was thinking maybe Marsden Wagner's Born in the USA and also the Paths to Becoming a Midwife books... He won't watch any DVDs or anything.  He's not even willing to talk to me right now (yeah, thanks for the encouragement and congratulations for getting into my #1 choice for schools, Dad...), so it would have to be something that came from a source he could respect.

Any suggestions?  I am as can be by my choice to finally move forward and to not be ruled by the fears he put into my head about becoming and practicing as a midwife!  I don't condone his behavior toward me, but I know it is based in his fear for his "little girl" whom he just wants to be secure and independent and successful with a viable career(like that's a promise even within the medical model?!).

Thanks!

Ashley

I see that you wear a lot of hats already--yoga instructor, doula, cbe ...  How was your father when you decided to do all these different things?  How are they different than midwifery?  Is he concerned that you've got all these certifications but now want another one?  Is it possible to just let him go on thinking as he wishes and you continue to persue what your heart is telling you to do?

All my other trainings and certifications have been part of my path towards becoming a midwife.  It wouldn't even occur to him to think that I "now want another one."  I started out wanting to be a midwife straight out of high school due to a birth experience of a family member.  I didn't feel ready to become a midwife, so I started doing what I could to learn more about things I consider highly relevant to my "calling." Of course it is possible to let him go on thinking as he wishes, but that means estrangement for us.  I am not questioning pursuing what my heart is telling me because of his stance.  I am just looking for some resources for him to read because he is an avid reader and he just doesn't know any better than to believe what he does based on his lack of education.  I'm interested in presenting evidence to him that may qualm some of his misgivings.

Would he really shun you and never talk to you again?  Poor man.

How about books written by MDs which are very pro-midwifery care?  Anything by Henci Goer?  I'd suggest:

• Expecting Trouble--The Myth of Prental Care in America by Thomas H. Strong MD
  
• Pursuing the Birth Machine by Marsden Wagner MD
  
• Gentle Birth, Gentle Mothering by Sarah J Buckley MD
  
• The Medical Delivery Business--Health Reform, Childbirth, and the Economic Order by Barbara Bridgman Perkins
• Obstetric Myths Versus Research Realities--A Guide to the Medical Literature by  Henci Goer
• Pushed--The Painful Truth About Childbirth and Modern Maternity Care by Jennifer Block