I've been a fan of Midwifery Today for a long time, but I decided to join the forums today when I discovered only ONE post in the Grief, Loss and Trauma section. That's rediculous! Pregnancy and infant loss is terribly common, and birth trauma is even more common. Please share your stories, as a mom, as a friend or sister, as a birth support person or a midwife. Everyone can learn from your valuable expeiences.
I'm a birth doula, childbirth educator, and aspiring midwife. I'm also a woman who has suffered tremendous loss and birth trauma. In addition to early miscarriages, I had a 40 week stillbirth/ hopeful VBAC 2 years ago and an ectopic pregnancy 6 months later. My reproductive organs have been seriously altered by multiple cesareans, uterine and fallopian tube rupture, and DES which was given to my grandmother when she was pergnant with my mother.
I also have post traumatic stress disorder from the multiple birth traumas I've experienced. The abuse I've suffered at the hands of health care providers is much more traumatic then the loss of my children before birth. As a birth doula, I've seen more abuse to my clients in hospitals and birth centers, and a potential stillbirth/ cord prolapse where we nearly lost the baby. I'd say I'm overqualified to discuss this topic.
I vow to try to write some things in this forum that may help others, but I ask something of you. Please open your heart and share. I realize that it is not easy to do, this is a very vulerable topic, wrought with pain and of a sensitive nature. But if you have the courage to share your experiences in personal grief and loss or as someone helping another going through it, please do. You never know how you might be able to help others. Reading the stories of cord prolapse in "The Baby Catcher" prepared me for the cord prolapse that occured just a week or less later. I am forever grateful for her willingness to share her stories.
Sarah in Houston TX, Birthspring Doula Services