I am looking back from the distant past with this issue and it never changes! Either good to know or down right crazy. I am at present going through the other side of the story! My dh is unable to do much for himself so am again in a care taking mode. It just seemed alot easier to russle up a bunch of kids than one adult. For one thing,the kids think you are right so they are a little easier to convince that we are going to do it my way for right now!!
Some of the things I did that helped me back when were:
Keep it simple. Clear out the stuff you are not using now[too much toys,too much cloths,too many meal choices,. Get rid of it. Clutter boggs you down and prevents you from change.
Have a routine. I know that the routine idea seems impossible but give it a try. Meals at about the same time everyday. Brft, If they like cheerios,give them to everybody. [ Throw a few at the baby too,good for eye-hand coodination]For lunch pick a few choices that your most picky kid will eat and modify for the rest of them. Isores mentioned tnat I think we short order cook way to much for kids. Kids love to arbitrate about everything. Give them choices like in a bowl or not in a bowl!! Main meal the same thinking. Work up a few simple nourishing meals and use them. Kids do not get sick of the same thing. You and your dh might,but add a salad for you to munch while the kids are doing laps around the house[you think I am kidding! I had a couple hyper kids who needed to run and jump and burn up a few clicks. So we had contests in the yard for the kids while the adults rested and talked about the day.] OR try a PBJ in your jammies with a bottle of wine after the kids are in bed
Have a nap time and a bed time. Sounds hard but all my kids hadFOB[flat on back] everyday from1-3pm. They did n't have to sleep,just in their bed and quiet. they could read,draw what ever. Just no bugging mom or eachother. We did this especially in summer till they were preteens. Kids often do not get enough sleep. Makes them craby and you crazy.Kids need 12 + hours of sleep at nite. They will put up a major protest at first,but keep at it,they will adjust. I strongly believe that one of the thing that makes SAHM so hard is the isolation from big people. One of the things that makes dh tend to linger at the office is no time for the big people. If you don't make time time for eachother,what is the point anyway?
I know I sound like the kids are the enemy,but like someone said they gang up on you and soon they are running the farm and they let you stay there as long as you live up to the manner in which they have become accustume.
I know this sounds impossible but,get them to help. If you start out young,they grow used to being part of the whole thing. I didn't let my children trash my house[not that it didn't happen sometimes]but help them pick up the blocks before they get out something else. They have to do that at school. Put 3/4 of the junk they have in the attic and get out different things one every couple weeks. It is all new and interesting again. Too much stuff at once makes them disordered and unable to process their thinking and creativity.
Being a mom is hard work. Don't let anyone put you off about that. Interact with they while they are playing with the blocks, If they feel they have your attention,they are much more willing to finish the thing thryare working on while you do something else.
Lastly set aside time for yourself. If it is only 1/2 hour,do it. Your dh can man up here and let you do something by your self. I found them quite willimg if there was a mutual reward later.
Praise yourself,have outside interests,learn chinese,make a rock garden. Read. I read while I was feeding the babies. Have longterm goals. I went back to nursing school in my 40's. Never give up and don't let the b*****ds get you down! [Wish I could have taught myself to sleep at nite. but that is when I do some of my best thinking and problem solving.
Strive for peace and harmony