It's a shame that you were treated so roughly and so impersonally. Having a vaginal ultrasound can be very uncomfortable whether you are pregnant or not. You need to know that at any time during such a "procedure", you have the perfect right to not only insert and guide the probe yourself but to say "STOP!" or "NO!" if you are experiencing anything that is physically and/or emotionally uncomfortable. You also have the perfect right to change care providers and leave this doctor. Many women have a uterus which is "positioned differently"; a "tilted uterus" is very (very) common. As the pregnancy continues, your uterus will grow and move, the cervix will come forward and down ... things change. A lot of doctors will use the Tilted Uterus Excuse to perform tests.
When a test or screen is suggested at any time in your life for any reason, you have the right (and in my opinion, duty) to ask what the test is for/what are they looking for, what will you and the person suggesting the test do with the information (will it help you make a choice to do a particular treatment or alter the course of your pregnancy, for example), and can they get that information in any other way. Then you have the right to decide if you want to have that particular test. So, you can refuse an ultrasound if you so choose. If you were having bleeding, for example, you might decide to go ahead with an ultrasound to determine if there's a problem with the pregnancy. There are other reasons why you might choose an ultrasound ... but there are reasons why you might not want one, too.
Is there a midwife in your area with whom you can make an appointment?
If you are bleeding red or pink/"spotting" red or pink, or if you are experiencing what feels like menstrual cramps, you need to call a midwife or doctor. If you are in the least bit concerned about any physical feelings you are experiencing which you feel are out of character with how you have been feeling while pregnant, you should call a care provider. It's always better to have your feelings turn out to be normal than to sit and worry. In the meantime, you can apologize to your baby, tell her/him how sorry you are that s/he got treated so roughly and that you are going to be watching out for people who treat you two that way. Tell your baby that you are new to this and that you are learning the ropes about how a pregnant woman should be treated. Your baby may not physically hear you at this point, but s/he will feel the emotions and feel the warmth coming from you.
And last but not least, let's talk about how you might have been talked to. If the doc said that your baby wasn't cooperating, it may be the doc him/herself who wasn't "cooperating" with the baby! Babies don't need to "cooperate". They react to ultrasound and to poking and prodding just as you would if someone was poking at you. They get aggravated! They move and move away from the ultrasound, from the heat and from the probe. Although some midwives and docs say stuff like, "The baby's not cooperating today!" it's that kind of language which puts the baby in a negative light. The doctor is the one who needed to cooperate!